READING THE LESSONS

When the Vicar asks you to join the Rota of Readers, it is a sign that you are a part of the Congregation, and usually that you have requested to be included, or volunteered. In many a Church Hall after the Sunday Service, during the welcome coffee breaks, conversation includes remarks from one to another of "Good old Deuters, eh!" or "How could you make such a cracking job of Revs last week", or "I've got Genesis next week, of all things."

It has been known for Readers to misread the Vicar's writing, before Lists were so neatly typed, as now, and often a surprised Congregation has had delivered to them a tirade against the prevalence of brazen images, or the story of Dorcas read out on Mothering Sunday. Another hazard of readers in the past, has been the entrance, during a hot, sunny Sunday, of a muddy, happily panting Jack Russell or over-friendly Bull Terrier, trailing their leads from rather chewed leather collars, and, yes, it has got to be said, lifting their legs against the lecterns, before being chased away, barking madly, by a Verger hurrying from his obscure pew, down the Aisle in black gown, as if on an errand of great purport.

Also, the list of possible mishaps is daunting. The Lectern may fall over; the light may fail; a wrong and totally inappropriate Lesson can be read only too easily; the "mike" can develop an ominous and off-putting hum, or the Reader loses his 'place'.

In many Cathedrals, and some notable Churches, Lessons are read in a very dignified and solemn setting, with a large and heavy Leather Bible, complete with ornate Brass corners, lock and key, with chain, and embossed covers and spine, all in real gold leaf, with gold edged pages, perhaps dating from pre-Victorian times, or a gift from a member of a Victorian Congregation to commemorate a dear one. This is placed, with always great physical endeavour, sometimes by two persons, on a beautiful brass and silver-gilt, eagle Lectern, with a hostile look to the deeply engraved eye, talons and wings spread threateningly, one might almost imagine. Readers are often hidden from view of the Congregation behind this splendid bird, and do their best not to feel too intimidated, often in front of the Borough Council members present, the Mayor and many visiting Clergy.

The Congregation themselves have sometime caused a reader to falter, by dropping collection money, which rolls away mischievously to the next pew in front, or looking up the next hymn in the hymn book, or even rustling sweet and toffee papers. Distractions have also happened in some Churches by bats suddenly appearing from the Tower, or carefully arranged pyramids of fruit at Harvest Festivals toppling over.

Everyone must be familiar with readings being given in Films, and Winston Churchill proclaimed Mrs Miniver's husband helped the Nation's morale in the war, by reading The Beatitudes in the bombed-out Church in the film of the same name. Who could forget Alec Guinness, dressed in his white lace Surplice, shuffling in an endearingly eccentric way, up the worn steps of the carved Pulpit to deliver the famous reading from Ecclesiasticus, of "A Time for Everything" in the film Kind Hearts and Coronets? Noel Coward has also made a striking reading from St John in the film In Which we Serve, and so the dramatic effect of Bible readings has been used to good effect in entertainment. Indeed, Laurence Olivier has made several recordings of various excerpts from the Bible, perhaps a little too dramatically for some tastes. Even a pop song was made of By the Waters of Babylon in the 60's, and obtained quite a high place in the Charts of the day.

On another occasion, a distinguished guest was asked to read the Lesson at a Memorial Service. Being new to the job, he was mislead by the instructions: - "Chap. XIX, verse 11 to end", and read the remainder of the book of Isaiah - some forty chapters. A man of bulldog tenacity, he read steadily for twenty minutes, disregarding all whispered hints and encountered fierce glares from the Vicar. The situation was saved only by a resourceful Organist, similar to our own Fr Colin, who played the National Anthem, and brought the Service to an untimely close.

Rosemary Goulding