Translating Greek

One year we went to Crete for our holiday. Even if you speak the language, some further translation is necessary to know what is really meant. I have compiled the following:

After you:

Hole in floor ahead.

Footpath:

Faint trail through jungle.

Cemetery:

Whole island during siesta.

Light puff of wind:

Your washing is half a mile away.

Sandy beach:

Stretch of rocks by the sea owned by a man named Sandy.

Raki is a mild drink:

Internal nuclear explosion.

Heated pool:

Break the ice.

Come in, it's shallow:

I'm standing on top of a pole.

Swimming:

Walking around bottom of pool, holding nose.

Soon:

Within six months.

asap:

Forget the whole thing.

Dinner is ready:

There is just time for a shower, dress, stroll and a sherry.

It's worth 20,000:

He is selling.

It's worth 20.

He is buying.

Very slow, slow, normal speed, quickish, quick, speedy, fast, very fast, mad, frantic mad:

Snails pace.

Norman Linney