A Different Style of Wedding

Six years ago our youngest son decided to resign from his job in London and take up a scholarship from the government of Taiwan, to continue his study of Mandarin at a university in Taipei.

Within a few months of his arrival in Taipei Paul had met Mei Feng and although in 2002 he accepted an offer to rejoin his old firm, but based in Hong Kong, the friendship blossomed to the extent that we recently travelled to Taiwan to attend their wedding.

Taiwan, previously known as Formosa, is located off the south east coast of Mainland China. It stretches for some 300 miles from north to south, with two thirds of the Island being mountainous. The majority of the 23 million people live in the flatter but highly cultivated west. The capital Taipei, with a population of some 5 million, is located in the north and is a bustling friendly city although not particularly geared for tourism other than for visitors from nearby Japan. The main attractions are the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial, together with the Museum that houses many of the treasures brought to the Island by the Nationalists when defeated by Mao's Communists in 1949. The city also has the 101 Skyscraper, which is currently the tallest building in the world (in an earthquake zone?)

The wedding was to be held at the home of the parents of Mei Feng, which is located in a small village nearly 200 miles south of Taipei. Paul hired a car to transport his elder brother, who had also flown in, together with ourselves and we were thankful that he was driving, given the lack of road signs once we turned off the main north/south motorway. A coach was also hired for the occasion to transport Paul's friends, who had flown in from Hong Kong, as well as other friends from Taipei.

The wedding proceedings had in fact commenced some 3 months earlier with an all day photo session for the couple in and around Taipei. The photographic firm provided a variety of outfits for the occasion with 5 of the dresses also being made available to Mei Feng for the wedding in Taiwan and the following celebrations in this Country. Two large albums were produced, as well as invitations and numerous small photographs for eventual distribution to the wedding guests.

In order to ensure that the wedding had been arranged for a suitable day a local oracle had to be consulted and the approval of family ancestors was also apparently necessary, although we are unable to understand how this was forthcoming. Invitations to family and friends were then issued by way of the distribution of Taiwanese wedding cakes, which were attractively packaged in red boxes.

The parents of Mei Feng, together with other family members, live in a rambling bungalow located on 3 sides of a sandy courtyard measuring some 15 by 20 yards. A large awning had been erected over the courtyard, together with further extension towards the front gate, to provide shelter for the 300+ guests expected. A further canvas shelter had been erected on the road for the caterers and a large lorry was also parked outside the gate.

Proceedings were scheduled to commence at 12 noon and on arrival guests reported to a side table where sealed red envelopes containing money were handed over and opened with the contents religiously recorded. Unlike the practice in this country the majority of money received was not a present for the couple but used to pay for the celebrations.

We had been told that dress would be 'very informal' and so it proved to be, for many of the local guests were dressed in T shirt, jeans and flip flops. The benefit of the awnings was also soon apparent, with the arrival of a heavy thunderstorm that flooded the outside ground to a depth of 2/3 inches. In order to get from the cooking area the waitresses, who wore large luminous yellow capes and gumboots, had to walk along planks of wood to avoid the floods.

The meal commenced with black chicken soup and was followed by another eleven courses with shellfish, which is farmed locally, featuring prominently. Never before have we enjoyed a meal with different courses of clams, oysters, six inch long prawns and lobster, all eaten with chopsticks and washed down with tea, local beer and 60% proof rice wine (best avoided).

There was neither ceremony nor speeches and the only formality consisted of the local mayor, who, with elections pending, wished to be seen and had therefore invited himself, taking Paul and Mei Feng, together with her parents and ourselves to each of the 30+ tables. He then introduced us following which we drank a toast to the guests at that table and moved (staggered) on.

Just after the start of the proceedings we also discovered that entertainment was to be provided when the sides of the lorry were let down to reveal a stage on which singers and scantily clad dancing girls performed. At one stage one of the girls came down amongst the guests and treated 3 of Paul's western friends from Hong Kong to a lap dance, much to the amusement of the local guests.

By 2 pm it was all over and the guests rose to leave, taking any surplus food with them in the 'doggy bags' that had been brought specially for this purpose. The attitude was that having paid for the meal by the way of money given in the red envelopes then any surplus food was theirs to take away.

Family photographs were then taken and the day finished with a visit to a small town where we enjoyed a meal in a local restaurant. Well, after all we had only had a twelve-course lunch and the food is really very good.

On reflection the wedding in Taiwan was, for us, nothing more than a huge enjoyable party. Although the legalities had been observed by the optional registering of the marriage it did appear that all that was really necessary in local eyes was for a couple to throw a party and declare that they were now man and wife. Fortunately two weeks later Fr. Mike also arranged a most enjoyable service of blessing at St. George's, so that both Paul and we really believe that they are properly married.

Margaret and David Cavey