The Parish Church of St George the Martyr, Waterlooville
Winter Edition 2013
Items from school reports:
1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and continued digging
2. I would not allow this student to breed
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy
4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
5. Your son conducts himself entirely to his own satisfaction but not necessarily to mine
6. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them
7. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming
8. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.