The Review of the Revue
St George’s Players said they’d do
For one night only, a Revue.
I thought that as I had the time
I’d write this little piece in rhyme.
A goodly number filled the hall
For entertainment, one and all.
With music played on piano
Bassoon and flute, throughout our show
And songs and sketches various.
Some sad and some hilarious.
In memory of Terry Jones
First Tony sang with many groans
Of life’s sore trials, especially though
Baggage Retrieval at Heathrow!
Jane’s passion for a surgeon came
With disadvantages, by name
His work was never far from mind.
The morning after she did find
Her passion of the night before
From students gained the highest score!
Our Vicar, keeping shop instead,
Mis-understanding what was said.
Confusion over plugs and candles
And lettering and forks with handles.
Has Fr Colin, with those “O”s
Renamed the Vic’rage “Mon Repose”?
Then Iain told the sorry tale
Of Joyce, who loved an errant male.
Her George proved fickle and it looks
Returned ne’er love nor library books.
Left Joyce, poor girl, with problem new;
Not only books were overdue!
The first half ended with a plea
Performed by all the Company.
“With drunken sailor, what to do?”
The audience had ne’er a clue!
The Interval and “soberly”
All queued in line for cups of tea.
Poor Richard had a painful time
Encountering a porcupine.
To dental surgery with Mum,
Extracting prickles from his bum.
A moral here - and this is it.
Check carefully before you sit!
Hector, in club, inebriated,
Met fellow golfer and related
To him, his lack of policy.
A Life Insurance needed he.
With application form dictating
Commission there anticipating.
His friend’s endeavours proved in vain
To penetrate his “pickled” brain.
Our “Little Ladies of the Night”
Displayed their wares by soft lamplight.
Pearl, Rose and Mitzi and one more -
Lillie Marlene made up the four.
A wealthy man each hoped to meet.
Who’d sweep them off their dainty feet.
This will, I fear a dream remain
For Pearl, Rose, Mitzi and Marlene.
Located in a Home-For-Care.
A problem with the Caithness Chair,
Discovered inadvertently
Its “turbo power” could be the key
For old folk lacking occupation,
A more exciting recreation.
Flew out the window, one by one
Mischievously in search of fun.
A dozen elderlies zimmed free
To beach at Bexhill-on-the-Sea.
We finished with a useful guide
To “Looking on the Brighter Side”.
Our thanks must go to everyone
Who made the evening so much fun.
Janet Johnson
